From Borrowed Answers to Intimate Truth
My life is surrounded by definitions.
It is human nature to sum up everything into something familiar — something that can be labelled.
I don’t live in a box, yet society wants to put me in one.
Some known lenses to see through. Some reference point to gaze at and understand.
Ahh, like that one — similar to this — got it.
People carry neat packages for success, fulfilment, contentment, and happiness.
Something that cannot be measured in tangible units is checked off as if it were a task to be done.
Getting married, owning a car, buying a house — these have become the goals of life.
Life is not a convention where you walk past booths of have-tos and must-haves.
Spirituality is not a car where you inspect features and choose from a catalogue.
Our intimacy with life has thinned to a single question:
What will I get out of it?
Now that I am born, what are my goals and aims?
What will existence offer me? What can I attract? What will make me complete?
Do we ever ask — who am I without my roles, my possessions, my body?
We are more invested in the elements of life than in the purpose of life.
And the purpose of life is simple, terrifying, and untouched:
To find yourself.
***
I have gone through involuntary penance to understand life.
I have lived in palaces and travelled many lands.
But I have also lived in slums and experienced poverty and starvation.
These two polarities distilled what the meaning of life is for me.
But when I read other thinkers and philosophers of the West, I find a gap —
between what they say and what I have lived.
I used to squeeze myself into bookish patterns and forms,
but now life means something else.
It is to live as it comes, without deciding what a meaningful life should look like.
A meaningful life is a life in which you do what you are urged to do.
Want to go to a café? Go.
Want intimacy? Go.
Want solitude? Go.
Go. Go. Go.
Whether you swim with the current or against it,
you will reach the ocean.
You alone decide whether the journey is gentle or cruel.
***
I once sketched in my notebook and took it to my master.
I said, “No one draws like this.”
He replied, “You do.”
Living is not about compartmentalising life for a group.
To appreciate life is to honour individualism —
that invisible signature in each of us.
It is not the formality of existence,
but the quality of being alive.
No book can define that quality for you.
Only you can enter the uncharted territory of your own mind to find it.
***
This inquiry becomes the greatest work of a lifetime.
Psychology and philosophy have grown because they welcome challenge.
If you want something to grow, question it.
Religion shrinks when it condemns the questioner.
When you step beyond inherited morals and borrowed ethics,
you discover what beauty means to you —
and begin shaping a world that feels intimate.
Stop asking how to become worthy.
Start asking who is already here —
beneath man, father, son, citizen, believer.
Let the silent centre speak.
Let the inner urge lead — not the borrowed aspiration to become someone else.
***
Thoughts are the dynamic expressions of the mind.
They arise from the source of nothingness.
This empty, spontaneous silence within births a spark of energy which converts into a thought.
The source itself is one for everyone.
But its expression differs from individual to individual.
That is the beauty of it.
The source wants to experience life as it is offered, keeping you as the medium.
Fighting it and rejecting it is rejecting your very own nature.
This is the instrument of consciousness.
It constantly evolves, and we know what consciousness is, even if we can’t define it.
This mind–body stream flows from the source.
It cannot see the whole picture.
It can be sensed — only if you become inwardly aware.
What is written in books and even in this blog is beautiful,
but to live, honour, and flourish in your own individual expression is more beautiful and pure.
True and honest.
***
The easiest way to go about it is to reject everything —
the external stimuli, ideas, and concepts, anything that demands you chain yourself to the egoistic notion of knowledge.
You don’t have to do it only because you know how to do it.
To contribute to the world in true meaning, you have to stand alone.
The world needs you, and you cannot be busy becoming someone else.
Step beyond borrowed morals, inherited ethics, and unexamined beliefs.
See the world with naked eyes and a naked mind,
without the ego of knowledge and information defining it for you.
There is nothing wrong with this world, and there is nothing right about it.
Drop the judgement.
It is what it is.
When this realisation struck me, many parts that I thought I knew vanished.
I lost and found myself.
In the thousand voices of the mind, I am the silence at the core.
In the chaos of life, I am the unmoving centre from where this world and universe arrive into existence —
my world, my universe.
It is nothing without me.
That puts me in power, not at the mercy of anything external, anything that is not me.
***
After this realisation, I don’t go and start a monastery,
because it is so simple and so beautiful that decorating it with institutionalism would dilute the message.
I am happy on the streets, among people.
I am happy in the marketplace where the town gathers.
I don’t want to conclude this into some absolute writing on the wall.
That would be contradictory — hypocrisy.
I am not a follower of conclusions.
I am a seeker of unknown impermanence.
I smell the beauty of the hidden flow in the valley of this mind —
the blossom that blossoms in me and blossoms in you.
***
I no longer seek who I am supposed to become.
I seek who I already am.
I no longer strive to fit myself into philosophical frameworks —
I let my life grow like a tree, not square, not correct,
but true to its own shape.
And in discovering what beauty means to me,
I begin, at last, to make my world intimate.